Review No.118: Rock of Ages

So as it's my birthday today I thought I didn't want anything too taxing, though as you'll see later I changed my mind, so I opted to watch the film adaptation of the sell-out jukebox musical Rock of Ages. The film is set in 1987 California and follows the exploits of a small-town girl, Julianne Hough's Sherrie, who comes to Hollywood in search of fame and fortune but instead ends up working as a waitress in the notorious Bourbon Rooms. There she meets Drew a city boy, I think you can see where this is going, who is an aspiring rock star and its not long before the two start dating with him writing a song about her which isn't completed till the end of the film. The owner of the Bourbon Rooms Dennis Dupree, played by Alec Baldwin who is the best thing by far in this film, manages to get top rock group Arsenal to play their final gig at his venue before lead singer Stacee Jaxx goes solo. Jaxx, played by an incredibly game Tom Cruise, hooks up with a Rolling Stone reporter before he goes on stage however Drew believes it is Sheree who has slept with him so abandons her with the two going their separate ways. Jaxx's manager Paul Gill sees potential in Drew so decides to try and make him a star however when the record executives inform him that rock is dead he ends up adding Drew to a cheesy boyband. Meanwhile Sheree ends up stripping at a club run by Mary J Blige she considers going back home however a chance encounter with Drew encourages her to not 'Stop Believin'. Other stories in the film involve Catherine Zeta Jones' mayor's wife wanting to clean up the town by shutting down The Bourbon Rooms and Dennis realising that he is in love with one of his staff members Lonni, who is played by Russell Brand donning a very odd Brummie accent. All these stories come to a head as Stacie performs his first solo gig at The Bourbon Rooms with Drew's boyband in attendance and Sherrie in the audience, I just wonder if he'll play the song he's been writing throughout the movie?

I have to say I was looking forward to Rock of Ages in a sort of a cheesy way and I am a fan of a lot of these songs however after I finished watching it I was angry that they'd butchered some of the guilty pleasure classics I use to listen to when I went out regularly in my youth. The main problem is that the two leads are just awful and their relationship isn't convincing for one minute mainly because Julianne Hough, best known for her work on the American version of Strictly Come Dancing, is a better stripper than a singer while Diego Boneta as Drew can barely see what Sheree looks like over his enormous crop of hair. While Baldwin tries his best in The Bourbon Rooms scenes he's hampered by Brand's odd choice of Birmingham accent and when the two finally confess their love for each other, during an awkward duet of 'I Can't Fight This Feeling' it is incredibly uncomfortable. A lot of the cast members seem to be purely there for the money, step forward Catherine Zeta Jones, or just to have a laugh like Paul Giamatti. The only stand-out moments are from Tom Cruise channelling his obnoxious persona from Magnolia, only this time with added monkeys, he is a convincing aging rock star but maybe that's art imitating life in a way. Though some of the set pieces are enjoyable I felt there were far too many performances and not as many scenes to develop characters which is needed especially in a film with as many plot strands as Rock of Ages has. I have to say overall I'm bitterly disappointed as I was hoping for another Mamma Mia type movie but, and I never thought I'd say this, I miss Pierce Brosnan's awful singing voice.

Verdict: While there are some enjoyable set pieces and Tom Cruise is on top form overall this is a disappointing mess so that's why it's getting 3/10