Review No.144: Battleship

It seems now that films can be based on anything video games have been a great source of inspiration for film-makers, especially with dirge such as Street Fighter and Doom, while one of the most popular franchises of all time was based on a fairground ride that of course being Pirates of the Caribbean. Board games though on the whole have been left out of the loop with the possible exception of Clue, based on our British Cluedo, but then that has defined characters plus an easy to adapt murder mystery plot. Hancock director Peter Berg has taken up the challenge of directing a film based on a popular board game that has no characters but simply a board full of holes and five plastic vessels yes I'm talking of Battleship. The film stars Berg's old Friday Night Light's colleague Taylor Kitsch, who with this and John Carter isn't having a good year career wise, who stars as Alex Hopper a stereotypical slacker who is in his mid-twenties but has no life to speak of and whose navy Admiral brother Stone wants to do something with his life. After being arrested for an incident involving a chicken burrito Stone finally convinces Alex to sign up to the Navy and seven years later we find him working as a lieutenant but still has a temper on him. Alex is also now dating the daughter of his commander, played by a very gruff Liam Nesson who pops up only occasionally throughout the film and whom I'm betting received a hefty paycheck for his appearance, however after almost getting kicked out of the navy he feels it's not the best time to approach it. At the same time as all this is going on NASA makes contact with five alien ships who come to the Earth with the intention to finish us off and a big shooty battle starts up between the ships operated by the Hopper brothers and company and the alien fleet. During this time Alex has to step up and take responsibility as he finds himself as the most senior officer on the ship and is tasked with finding the aliens' weakness. Meanwhile Alex's girlfriend Samantha is stuck with one of her ex-military clients Mick, she's a very unconvincing physical therapist, who randomly meet up with Hamish Linklater's geeky scientist with the three trying to aid the Navy fleet in their war with the aliens. Eventually the crew have to board  a battleship, that's the name of the film after all, but will hitting G3, H3, I3 sink the aliens? Well unfortunately it's not that sort of film.

On the end credits of Battleship in big writing we are told that the film is 'Based on the Hasbro Game' however I didn't see any evidence of it here. Instead what I saw was a film that had its basis in the Transformer sequels as well as elements of a shoddy War of the Worlds rip-off and a bit of homoerotic Top Gun fun thrown in for good measure. I have to say it did have a semi-promising start with the bar scene between the Hopper brothers however once everybody is aboard their respective ships things start to go downhill fast and there's a lot more shooting than dialogue. Peter Berg is an interesting director because he has made some interesting films in the past, including Friday Night Lights and The Kingdom which was patchy but still had its moments, however when he's handed a massive budget he seems to fudge things up you just have to watch Hancock to see what I mean. Taylor Kitsch is once again playing the handsome male lead however it is Alexander Sarsgaard as his brother who I think lends the most gravitas to the film while as I mentioned Neeson's brief cameos are also worthwhile if few and far between. The one casting choice I have to disagree is R&B superstar Rihanna who is playing Raikes a weapons expert who spends most of the time strutting round looking like a bit of a tomboy but she doesn't do enough to convince you that it's not just the girl who sung Umbrella prancing around in camouflage. In fact when Rihanna is paired up with some of the naval veterans on the battleship they look more likely to be able to successfully operate heavy artillery than she does and at the end of the day she plays the most unconvicing member of the military on screen since Meg Ryan was a fighter pilot. The only briefly entertaining segments of the film were between Brooklyn Decker's Samantha, Hamish Linklater's scientist and Gregory D Gadson's wounded military hero with the three forming an unlikely trio trying to bring down the alien attack in their own way. It is these scenes that provide both humour and heart however as most of the money has been spent elsewhere they don't get as much screentime as the ship bound boys and girls. Personally I think it was a mistake to try and turn Battleship into a film in the first place but I would've made it into a more old school Naval epic rather than a sub-part Transformers rip-off with Rihanna getting more screen time than Liam Neeson. If you enjoy things blowing up with no real plot behind them, so in other words if you're Michael Bay, then you'll enjoy this but if like me you'd rather watch something with substance I'd wait for the Guess Who film to come out as we all know that would be class.

Verdict: Though there are moments of clarity in there overall Battleship has some really bad performances and uses tons of explosions instead of a coherent plot so for that reason I will award it 2.5/10

Review No.107: Wrath of the Titans

My abiding memory of the 2010 version of Clash of the Titans wasn't anything about the film, which I've completely forgotten about, but rather comments that director Louis Leterrier made about his film being retro-fitted into 3D saying that he'd imagined some of the scenes in 3D so he was glad that the process took place. Suffice to say that Leterrier hasn't been invited back to direct the sequel instead it is up to Battle: Los Angeles director Jonathan Liebesman to do the best he can helming a follow-up to a film that nobody can recall. Sam Worthington's Perseus is back and having defeated the Cracken is now living the simple life which seems to involve fishing and looking after his 10 year old son Heleus. However when Perseus' brother Ares betrays their father Zeus to team up with evil uncle Hades he is forced into action once more as the deadly duo have broken the walls of Tatarus letting in all manner of beasties. Perseus gets a gang together include Rosamund Pike's hot warrior queen Andromeda, Toby Kebbel's jokey cockney sidekick Agenor and Bill Nighy's Northern blacksmith Hephaestes. Together they journey through Nighy's labyrinth eventually meeting up with Ares who tries to murder all of them however he is outwitted by the 10 year old boy and slain by his brother. In the meantime Zeus and Hades have made amends and team up to take on their newly awoken father Kronos whose army is slowly demolishing that of Andromeda however once again Perseus saves the day with one big mighty weapon thingy that he uses to slay his grandad, what a hero!

I have to say I don't think anybody really wanted a sequel to the 2010 version of Clash however too many people went to see it for the studio not to cash-in and make this follow-up. Wrath does have the same problem as Clash namely a wooden leading man in Sam Worthington who seems to change this Greek God into a growling Australian bore sharing little chemistry with his supposed romantic interest Pike or indeed his on-screen son. I wasn't bowled over by the effects as by the end of the film every minotaur, Cyclopes and Chimera all moulded into one big CGI blur. Thankfully what Wrath does have going for it is a sense of fun and at just under 90 minutes it doesn't outstay its welcome in the way that John Carter did. Central to this entertainment is Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson who both seem to be having a ball as Hades and Zeus respectively each trying to outdo the others growly voice before teaming up at the end to share some giggles it was as if I was eavesdropping on a rather drunken encounter at the Schindler's List after-party. To add this entertainment both, especially Neeson, look completely ridiculous as the Taken star is done up to resemble a dishevelled department store Santa Claus. Of the supporting cast both Kebbel and Nighy also seem to have fun with their roles and I felt what the first film lacked was a lighter element which the former brings which is a breath of fresh air against the dour Worthington. At the end of the day though, despite the fun performances, there's no getting away from the fact that this was a film that was made purely by committee with the sole aim to make as much money as possible which I believe it already has done. The fact that the final scene between Perseus and Heleus sets up a potential third film in the franchise leaves me with a sense of dread and let's hope that Titans Won't Outstay Their Welcome by making Wrath the last film in this underwhelming reboot.

Verdict: Some fun performances make this film better than the original however it is still an empty money-making endeavour with some unimpressive CGI so for that reason I will award it only 4.5/10

Review No.28: The Grey

Isn't that film just Liam Neeson punching a wolf in the face for two hours? That was my friend's reaction when we were mentioning The Grey in conversation the other week and at that time that's what I thought it was as well. Looking at the posters and the trailer it seemed to be almost Taken goes Arctic but in fact it is more of a survival film think Alive with less cannibalism and more Arctic wolves. In the opening scenes of The Grey we meet Neeson's John Ottway a man who is paid to keep the wolves at bay while others work on an Alaskan oil rig. In flashbacks we see that Ottway has had some troubles with his wife and it seems now that he is trying to commit suicide but ultimately feels he can't go through with it and is back on the plane home with the rest of the men. However disaster strikes and the plane plummets down with only a few survivors left it us up to Ottway to lead the charge and help the less experienced navigate their way through the snowy landscape in hope of finding some kind of rescue. Anybody who has seen any film like this before knows what to expect there's in-fighting, unexpected deaths and scenes in which the survivors gather round a campfire and say what they're going to do when they get home. The main threat though is a pack of wolves that are constantly on the tail of the men as they edge closer and closer to possible shelter it seems that this pack aren't too happy with these men infringing on their territory.

The Grey is an interesting film in so much as I feel I've seen it's like before but thanks to Neeson's gripping lead performance it keeps you watching. The theme of the film seems to be what are these men living for? Some like Dermot Mulroney's Talget have got family to get back to while others like Frank Gillo's Diaz just don't want to die without one more shag. Neeson though is a man torn and director Joe Carnahan keeps you guessing to what it is that happened between Ottway and his wife. Carnahan is also good at presenting the wolves as a constant threat even when they aren't seen on screen the men's fear of them is enough to keep you guessing when they'll strike next. One thing that I do like is that there are no scenes of mutiny here and while Diaz bitches and moans from time to time you never think that he will usurp Ottway's authority. On the negative side I did feel a bit weary a times as the scenes of the men constantly making their way through the snow were a little boring but I suppose there's nothing else that could've been done to further the plot though things to get a bit repetitive at times that's only because this does feel fairly realistic. I have to say this was a pleasant surprise of a film but don't fear because Neeson does get to at least wrestle a wolf if not punch one directly in the face.

Verdict: A surprisingly gripping disaster film with a really engaging lead performance from Neeson I'll give this one a 7/10