Review No.65: This Means War

Let's talk about McG if we may. The director who can't be bothered with a full name made his mark with the first Charlie's Angles film which I quite enjoyed however the sequel was all over the place and the less said about Terminator: Salvation the better. His latest effort is This Means War which sees the director apply his usual action shtick to the romantic comedy genre as two CIA agents compete over the same woman. Those agents are Chris Pine's FDR and Tom Hardy's Tuck the latter of whom joins a dating website through which he meets Reese Witherspoon's Lauren who in turn bumps into FDR as he is playing his wingman role for his best buddy. Predictably the gentlemanly contest turns nasty as both employ valuable CIA resources into researching their new girlfriend and then tracking their rival using underhand tactics in order to make sure that the other's relationship isn't consummated. There is also a subplot involving a Russian mobster who is after revenge for his son's death at the hands of the pair however this is only given a minimal amount of time and the main focus is on the hilarious antics of Pine and Hardy which in my book is akin to stalking. Obviously Lauren's choice and the revenge of the mobster collide in the film's final scenes where there are a lot of explosions coupled with a few unfunny gags which in fact could describe the whole film.

My main problem with This Means War was that it was a romantic comedy without the romance as Lauren's life is researched by her two potential suitors they woo her by using prior knowledge rather than by the more conventional method of conversation. I understand they need to get one over on their rivals but even so finding out what sort of art she likes or her favourite car are things that normal people do via other methods while this is just cheating. FDR and Tuck spying on Lauren's conversations with her best friend, played by Chelsea Handler, are also meant to be utterly hilarious but again come off as very creepy. Though everything looks great I felt it was completely hollow with all three central performances being very lacklustre indeed and I think McG cares more about the explosions than he does getting decent turns from his cast. The usually charming Witherspoon has to tackle a character who is stringing two guys along, Chris Pine can occasionally also be fairly suave but here comes off as a bit of a prick however it is the often brilliant Tom Hardy who I feel sorry for obviously doing this for the money he mumbles his way through most of the script and has zero chemistry with his female co-star. Worst of all though is Handler whose job consists of making lewd comments about penis size and drinking cocktails while supervising her children at playgroup. It is almost as if McG has given her free reign to be as naughty as she is on her TV show however the character doesn't really work in the confines of this genre. Overall this is a loud, unfunny, unromantic, uninspiring film which is another entry into the horrific opus of Mr McG.

Verdict: Just bad on so many levels, it's just a shame I had to follow the best film of the year so far with the worse as it has no redeeming features and is just plain offensive I must award it 1/10